Do Men Want To Be Monogamous?

All the talk about sex addiction, jumpoffs, rehab, cheating, sex tapes and general freakiness has some people wondering if we should re-think marriage and commitment altogether. Personally, I think people can get married and stay married if they really want to. But, hey, who am I?

Sports commentator and writer Stephen A. Smith went on The View Monday and attempted to breakdown what men really want.

Do you agree with him?

Oh, and BTW, adding fuel to the argument about re-thinking our approach to relationships was Whoopi Goldberg who admitted to cheating in her marriage.

“Hey, listen, I did it five or six times … Yes, I screwed around. Yes, while I was married. I made those mistakes too, yeah. It happens sometimes. It happens. Maybe he (Jesse James) was trying to find something different too.”

So, can anyone be faithful anymore? How do you make it work?

How To Break Up... The Direct Approach

There comes a time when all things must end... so they say. But, fellas, if the time has come to break up with your lady, this probably isn't the way to do it.

Taste The Brew to check the other versions of the Break Up.

Read more »

Is The Cougar So 2000-Late?

A new study finds relationships work better if the man is a little older and a little dumber than the woman.

UK researchers studied 1,500 couples over a 5 year period and found the most successful relationships were those where the woman was 5 or more years younger and more educated than her partner.  So, we've got it all wrong.  Instead of scouting the college campuses, we need to be at the nursing homes.  Dammit.  I've wasted years.

Anyway, Newsweek says the whole "cougar" game is just media-driven and will likely be extinct by next year.

What's your call? Are cougars here to stay? Would you start seeking older men to date?  Is age just a number?

Mr. & Mrs. Carter photo credit: BAUER-GRIFFIN

6 Ways To Pick Up A Chick Like Kim Kardashian

A-snooze, a-snooze at the title. But some of you fellas may need this help. Consider me your weekend love docta just passing along the message!

Courtesy: Blogxilla

1. Move your feet

Go meet her. Right away.

The longer you wait, the more nervous you’ll make yourself and the more she’ll think you’re creepy if she catches you looking.

I picked up a Miss America finalist just by walking across a hotel lobby to introduce myself. When I asked her later what got her attention about me she said, “you’re not my usual type, but I loved your boldness and confidence.” That’s the vibe to pick up a Playmate.

2. Own the group

A beautiful woman at a party isn’t going to be spending a lot of time alone. Don’t be the creepy guy who tries to intercept her on the way to or from the bathroom.

When you go meet her, acknowledge and be friendly with the people she is with. But don’t try to “fit in”. Most Playmates want to be with the kind of guy who can command attention and has presence. Doing this without coming across as a jerk is part of the challenge.

3. The first thing you say doesn’t matter – it’s all about the SECOND thing

Most guys don’t approach women because they are waiting for the perfect thing to say. And true, if you have NOTHING to say, you’ll get blown out. But in general, any good, tested, opener (what you say when you approach) is as good as any other.

(For proven word-for-word scripts top pick up artists around the world use, check out the Love Systems Routines Manual)

I took this to an extreme a little while ago when I was reviewing a Love Systems (the old Mystery Method Corp) bootcamp – where a professional Love Systems expert takes you out to bars and clubs to work on your game. By the end of the first night, most of the guys were hooking up, but one very shy guy was still petrified about rejection.

So I approached two nearby blondes and told them I had a Twinkie for lunch. They didn’t say much. So I continued with a “cold read” – telling one of them that she looked like a good girl and the other that she was probably a devil. They loved it.

No matter what you say first, the best result is that you got her attention for whatever you say next.

So – don’t sweat the opener. Focus on building attraction.

4. Attraction is emotional, not logical

One expert said “Attraction is not a choice,” and he’s right. Attraction is an instinctive, chemical process. If you know what you’re doing and can get 15 minutes with her, you can make virtually any woman attracted to you.

Now, as any woman will tell you, being attracted and acting on that attraction are two very different things.

Most guys try to do the same lame things when meeting beautiful women. They try to look for commonalities (“What do you do? Where are you from?”), they try to show the girl that you’re a nice guy, or they talk about logical, factual subjects.

You can sometimes luck into a cute girl doing that, but not a Playmate-quality one.
Take her on an emotional journey. The more varied emotions she feels with you, the more compelling you are. Make her laugh, sit in suspense when you tell a good story, feel excitement, feel connection. Don’t be boring or play it safe.

5. Don’t tell her she’s beautiful

Don’t tell her she’s beautiful. She knows that. She wants a guy who appreciates her beauty but isn’t hung up on it.

Once a year Love Systems does a bootcamp at the Playboy Mansion. In addition to all the other training for the event, there a big piece on the specific psychology of extremely beautiful women.

One part of this is that extremely beautiful women are often attracted to guys other hot women are attracted to. So if you act like she’s something special for being hot, she’ll lose interest. Imagine a giant wart on her nose if you have to.

6. Have fun!

You can’t pick up if you’re not enjoying yourself. There is something called mirror neurons – parts of your brain that impact your mood based on the mood of people around you. If you’re uncomfortable, you will make her feel uncomfortable with you. If you are having a great time, you have a much better chance of her having a great time with you.

Who Wears The Pants?

We often talk about relationships (the lack-there-of), dating and finding “good” men here at the Brew. But, take a listen to what “COULD” be at the heart of many of these issues: gender roles!

This YouTube “blogger” JunebugObama (I’ma let that slide) has a series of clips he calls “Who Wears The Pants?” Take a listen and tell us what you think. Are men and women fighting for the same roles within relationships? Who needs to step up? Who should fall back? Or, are his views too 1940s for today’s relationships?



Click Taste The Brew for parts 2 and 3.


Part Two


Part Three


So, what’s your call?

Hey Junebug…show your face honey!

Extreme Bitchassness Case #4657: The Ex

Being single in a city full of singles afford me the opportunity to meet a host of gentlemen of all types and shapes. Since I've always been a guy's girl, I have collected a few, let's call them "friendboys", who turn to me when it's time to discuss their girl game. The other day one of these friendboys told me that he heard his ex-girlfriend had moved on. Nothing new, life goes on, blah, blah, blah, BUT now we gots the internetz and the stalkers application called Facebook. So of course this dude checks out his ex's new beau and apparently he was no stunna. So does this guy relish in this little fun fact and go on about his life? Nooooooooo. This is where the story takes a left at Narcissistic Ave. Dude picks up the phone, calls his ex and lets her know that he's the better catch? He basically breaks her down and by the end of the convo she's upset and he's satisfied. Lesson here? Sometimes your ex's selection in mates might not make sense to you, and it's cool to talk with your friends about how the new boo looks like Gollum, but why point that out to your ex? If there are no feelings there anymore what's the point? Are all men really this egotistic?....Discuss.

Jonsing for Love

I have hood rat tendencies but I'm really a softie when it comes to love. So I was watching my favorite movie, "Love Jones" the other day and I got to thinking between scoops of my oreo cookie blizzard, am I doing myself a disservice by watching these types of movies? Do romantic flicks ruin our perception of real relationships? Am I wrong to be waiting for my "Darius?" Discuss...

He’s Into You, But He Still Dumps You

I came across this piece via a male friend I went to school with… and it really made me think about my little relationship history. Certainly, as women, we’ve been on the receiving end of a good dumping. I know I have, although most of my dumpings usually result in he stops calling then tells me months later that he's got a new lady friend, or worse, is getting married. But enough about me.

Here’s one Cosmo writer’s take on why guys dump the girls they dig:

The Timing Is Off
Women get serious when they meet the right man. Men get serious with whomever we happen to be dating when we're finally ready to settle down. That means after every other aspect of our life is in order — whether it's finishing grad school, finally pulling down a good-size paycheck, owning a car outright — or when our friends start dropping like flies (that's guyspeak for getting married). But if you catch a guy before he hits that magical stage of his life, then he's liable to bolt.

We're Not Finished Playing the Field
Men are natural-born one-uppers. If there's a possibility of upgrading what we already have for something better (that'll make our friends drool), we say, bring it on! So we wind up always wondering if you're really as good as it gets.

We're Fixated on the Worst-Case Scenario
Blame our married friends who took the plunge before us, but many single guys are hyperaware of what could go wrong down the road.

Even if we're crazy about you now, we panic that you'll pack on the pounds, want sex only once a month and nag us day and night. So we secretly flag certain things we're scared might be a harbinger of bad things to come.

We're in Like, Not in Love
It's harsh but true. In fact, it's probably the most common reason we bolt. Just because a guy likes you a lot isn't a guarantee that it will evolve into love. And we're surprisingly intuitive when it comes to figuring out a girl's potential on this front.

So why do we invest any time in a relationship that we know will ultimately end? Because we're able to live in the moment for a while and chalk it up to a good experience. But once you show that you're way more into us than we are into you, we'll dump you out of guilt.

We're Too into You
Just when you thought it was all bad news, here's a hard-to-fess-up admission: Guys are protective of their emotions. Translation: We're scared spitless of being hurt. So, if we start to feel like we're getting into a situation where we'll be destroyed if you dump us, we might launch a preemptive strike and yank the plug first.

So, what’s your call? Does this have any relevancy? Have you been on the receiving end of a dumping just when you thought things were going well in your relationship?

To read the article in its entirety, click here.